Create an environment where your partner feels safe to share their thoughts without fear of judgment or negative repercussions. Reassure them marijuana addiction that their feelings are valid and that disagreements can occur without damaging the relationship. Establishing this emotional safety can encourage them to open up gradually. Some people may not have developed effective conflict-resolution skills due to their upbringing or previous relationships. They might feel ill-equipped to navigate disagreements constructively, leading to avoidance as a default coping mechanism.
Core skill 2: Emotional awareness
- Encouraging your spouse to speak first increases the likelihood they will express their true thoughts and desires.
- You should always contact your doctor or other qualified healthcare professional before starting, changing, or stopping any kind of health treatment.
- When issues aren’t resolved, they’ll probably come up again, and again, and again.
- Sometimes, simply knowing you’re not alone gives you the courage to take the next step.
They also experienced fewer negative emotions than others in the study, and their positive emotions remained stable for longer periods of time. If conflict avoidance severely impacts the relationship, couples therapy can provide tools to improve communication and address underlying fears. With small, steady steps, you can learn to share your truth, listen with compassion, and build deeper trust. Remember, conflict avoidance might feel like the safer option in the moment, but it doesn’t lead to lasting peace. A study shows that avoiding conflict in relationships typically occurs because we want to maintain a sense of harmony. Unfortunately, conflict avoidance creates only superficial harmony.
Consider Professional Help
- They use words like “always and never” as they bring up their long-held inventory of grievances.
- The reasons for this are manifold, ranging from a desire to maintain harmony to deep-seated fears of rejection or failure.
- If conflict avoidance severely impacts the relationship, couples therapy can provide tools to improve communication and address underlying fears.
- Beautifully illustrated stories teaching mental health topics.
- Over time, even small disagreements can snowball into major problems, threatening the very foundation of the relationship.
The most obvious marker of conflict avoidance is, as its name suggests, avoiding conflict. You might also forego regular obligations or social events—anywhere potential conflicts could arise. Conflict avoidance can really throw a wrench in the gears of any relationship. Whether it’s with a partner, friend, or colleague, dodging difficult conversations often leads to misunderstandings and resentment. Have you ever felt a nagging tension in a relationship, only to realize that important issues were left unaddressed? It’s like ignoring a leaky roof until it starts pouring inside.
Understanding Conflict Avoidance: Why It Happens and How to Address It

When you enter a conflict situation already feeling threatened, it’s tough to deal with the problem at hand in a healthy way. Instead, you’re more likely to either shut down or blow up in anger. A healthy relationship should be able to withstand honest, respectful communication about issues at hand.
Spotting the Signs: Recognizing Conflict Avoidance Behaviors
Numerous tech companies are being criticized for laying off people via email rather than in person. Many people experience the pain of estrangement from family members, which can arise without warning or explanation. And whether you view the documented phenomenon of “quiet quitting” as destructive slacking or healthy boundary setting, it can manifest as avoidance of hard conversations and negotiations about workload. Have you tried all of the above and nothing seems to be working? Evidence-based methods like cognitive-behavioral therapy have been proven to help people identify negative thoughts that lead to relationally destructive behaviors. Your loved one may need additional assistance from an experienced clinician to deal with deeper, underlying issues beyond your control.
- In relationships, conflict avoidance can be particularly damaging.
- To avoid rocking the boat, conflict-avoidant people might bottle up their feelings and sidestep discussing important issues with others.
- Noah Williams is a passionate writer focusing on matters of the heart and mind.
Avoiding conflict only pushes unresolved issues further beneath the surface, leading to emotional distance and resentment. Unresolved issues can fester and grow, potentially leading to resentment and damaged relationships. Avoiding conflict can also prevent personal growth and the development of valuable communication and problem-solving skills.

There are plenty of healthy, productive ways to work through conflict, though some won’t work in every situation. Generally, conflict resolution falls into one of the following categories. When you don’t address communication problems productively, especially when you’re already at odds, how to deal with someone who avoids conflict the conflict can become more complicated. Mild or severe, interpersonal conflict is a natural outcome of human interaction.
What causes conflict avoidance?
Avoid bringing up sensitive topics when they’re busy, stressed, or distracted. Instead, find a calm, relaxed moment to broach these subjects. This can create a more conducive atmosphere for open communication and help them feel more comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings. Anytime you cannot work through an issue weighing on your relationship, this can become a problem.